Blessings from God

Yesterday I got the phone call from the drs office...and I was surprised and estatic to get the news that the body scan showed no cancer.  Why am I surprised you ask...because about one month ago we did an ultrasound on my neck that showed cancer in my lymph nodes.  Where did the cancer go??? Well I know there are those in the world that do not believe but I had people praying for me.  The first time I had someone pray and say that they knew the body scan would show clean and that God would take the cancer I just smiled.  I thought that was to big of a thing to ask for me, I know God can do anything....but I just well felt that if he gave me this it was for a reason.  I myself was only praying for peace and to be strong for me and my family.  But I know that he healed me!!!! How wonderful it was to tell my son, husband, family & friends of the power of prayer.  Thank you for all of them.....I love you all!

One shot down.

So we got up at 4am this morning to get to Missoula on time for my shot.  After that as we were heading back decieded since we were there might as well check out the mall.  But well Steve didn't know how to get there.  45 mins later I call my friend and get directions.  Spent time and money there we shouldnt have.  Then we get on the road to go home.  I am trying to sleep and open my eyes to see that Steve has passed the exit the next one to turn around was quite abit away.  Get turned around on the right exit and hit the construction, which was not that bad but someone dropped a tool in the middle of it that punctured our tire.  "Lucky "for us it was one of the few places to pull off and change it.  Then we had to drive 50 or so miles to a town going 45mph in a 70mph zone....of course most of it is one lane.  So people must have hated us(sorry).  Lucky we got a used tire for cheap and with great service at Les Scwab in Ronan.  Made it home, Steve went in to relax while I ran to work for the 3 hrs left in the day.  What a crazy week this is going to be! 

Just a reminder

In case anyone has forgotten.  I am a clutzy dork!  Went to a bonfire for Lori's daughter Ashleys 16th birthday.  And what do I do?  What only I can, I fall into the lake with not one but 2 cell phones in my pocket.  I really deserve and award people!! Luckly the cell phones still work.  And I only have a few bumps and bruises. 

So quick update.  The 28th I am going to Missoula for the first shot in my butt.....I will bring the second shot back with me to be adminstered on the 29th.  On the 30th I do my lab work and then they give me the Radioactive Iodine.  Oct 2nd I will get to finally do the scan.  Sadly until the scan I once again am stuck on the low iodine diet!! YUCK!!!! For any of you who might want to know more about why here is a good website to check out.  http://www.thyca.org/rai.htm#diet 
I swear if I could I would mainline Ranch into my veins right now......Yummy dairy.  LOL

Are you freaking kidding me.

So as I am sitting down to watch tv with my husband.  A commercial comes on and...................it for snuggies for dogs?!?!!? WTF is this for real?  I have thought that snuggies themselfs are sad.  But who the heck would do this kind of thing to their dog? 

Reason

So I have had some people ask me why I would post this information about my life.  The answer is not a black and white one.  Alot of my posting this has to do with the fact that I want to let people know what is going on.  Part of it is that I spent ALOT of my earlier years lying about almost everything.  So now I take the truth to the extreme, I try very hard not to hide anything.  And the last main part is I hope deep down that reading this will help someone else.  I know that one blog in paticular helped me to see the strength and humor that someone else had going thru this.  I am hoping that maybe someone will get the same from me. 

Yesterday was a hard day for me.  It is easy to get tired of being strong sometimes.  And I feel like I am trying so hard to put on a happy face it is exhausting.  That is the one bad thing about working the front desk.  You have to smile and be happy even when you want to just hide out and growl.  But I made it thru.  And today is looking like a great day!

Here is a bit of a text message that I shared with my friend DJ who just left me to move to vegas.  Think it will make some of you smile.  I know it made me laugh.

Hollie- Did you get there safe and sound?
DJ- Yes yesterday. Rental truck almost got rolled.  Aarons friend fell asleep.
Hollie-Wow that is scary! glad you got there.  Sorry I was distraced with my crap and didnt talk to you longer :(
DJ-No biggie. Have your appt yet?
Hollie-its looking like my scan with be on the 25th
DJ-You will have to let me know how it goes.
Hollie-but I have to go to missoula and get two shots in my butt first
DJ- What is with your butt? You like pokey things there?
Hollie- shhhhhh dont tell its our secret :) lol
DJ-Not so much silly!

Gray

Yesterday I found my first gray hair.  Now I must say that if anyone has earned gray hair it is me.  So I will keep it and not pluck it away.  My husband has already had a few we are only 30 yrs old but well life keeps us on our toes. 

Speaking about on our toes.....my cancer has returned yet again.  After a long drawn out process trying to get a local dr to see the light, I did the right thing and had to call my specielist office crying...they were so wonderful and got me in the same day.  When she looked at what the dr in town had been doing she got right on it and ran the correct blood test.  From the results of that she decieded to do a full neck ultrasound.  The results show I have at least 3 lymph nodes in my neck that are affected.  So I will go in for a full bodyscan in about a week to make sure it has not spread any farther.  After that we will deciede a treatment it might be surgery or RAI again, but none of us know yet. 

As my friend put it we had the blessing of my husband being laid off his job right before this.  So  he will be my caretaker and support in the mean time.  I hope he finds something soon but it might be a blessing in disguise that he will be around to go to dr's with me and help out with everything.  He will be getting unemployement.  Also we are very blessed in my job, I will be working my same schedule and shift but they are willing to work with anytime I need off for appt's for treatments.  Not only do I have alot of wonderful supportive friends there.  But everyone there in managment are being very understanding and helpful. I love all of the family and friends I have been blessed with. 

My brother Bram and his girlfriend Tessa came to visit us for a long weekend.  It was so great seeing them!  We drove around and explored a few place's and then on Labor day we took them to Glacer National Park.  It was so beautiful....We took a "trail"  down to one of the waterfall area's. I managed to lose my footing on the way down and almost took out poor Tessa.... I knew it hurt at the time but after I got home and checked out the damage the next morning I found a bit of a suprise.  I had a stick stuck in my butt..yes you are reading right a small stick has stuck about an inch into my left butt check.  Surprisingly my husband did not want to remove it.  So I waited about 2 days before I got up the courage to take a really hot bath and then remove it my self.........OWWWWWWWEEEEYYYY!  Also we took Bram&Tessa to the Going to the sun road to Logans pass.  When we got there it was snowing....a mini blizzard and oh so cold.  But still beautiful.  Loved having the two of them here.  Miss all of my family alot hopefully we will see them soon.
I have decieded to use this blog more, not only to update on health, family and life.  But also just as a journal  of sorts, someday's I might only post a sentence or a pic.  But I am aiming to do at least 2 postings a week, just to share a little bit of me with anyone who is crazy enough to want to see it. 

Please keep us in  your hearts and prayers and remember we will always keep you in ours.

Camaren

Camaren is gone to bible camp this week. It has been very lonely without him. Sure hope he is having fun because I miss the crap out of him. But I am sure that he is having a GREAT time based on all the fun things they had when I dropped him off. They also rent it out for retreats would be perfect for a family reunion (yes that is a hint) :) Here is the website just in case any of you are interested in seeing where Cam is this week and what he is doing. http://www.bigskybiblecamp.com/pages.asp?pageid=79232 and of course there is rental info on there too. :)
Miss and love you all!

Spring is here!!!

Ok it has been awhile.....So what is going on in the world of the Gaines. Well as many of you know when we first moved here we still owned our house in Utah. We made the decision that to be able to make they payments until we sold it that we would have to rent a place that was not our ideal....BUT we managed to sell that house and our lease just came to a finish!!! So we were able to upgrade now and get a place that is wonderful!!!! We have been here for about a month now an I am loving it!!!! Steve is loving having a garage and I am loving having a yard and not being able to hear neighbors screaming at each other day and night....peace peace peace :) Its starting to be spring here the grass is green the trees are budding and I made it thru my first Montana winter...whaoooo!!!! Of course we are doing our usual weekend activites, which consist of exploring, hiking, fishing and if I ever get past my fear of bears -camping :) We are coming up on our 4 yr anniversary so I think we are going to try camping as a family for it.

Camaren has been doing much better in the past few months. I think part of it is that he is making friends. We have a few kids up here that he knows and plays with. And after school he is going to my friend Michelles and he has made alot of friends there also. Looking back it makes alot of sense while hanging with dad and mom is fun from time to time......well we are not as fun as kids and he has been struggling with not having his "kid time" School is still a challange for him but working with him on it I understand where his stuggles are. I am hoping next year we will have enough money to put him in a private Christian school. Or there is a really good Monassori up here that might be an even better option. He really needs a place where they teach in the way he learns because once he "gets" somthing it is amazing to see everything click.

To remove any doubt!

To remove any doubt what so ever about my dorkiness. So last night it is getting close to midnight and I can’t sleep. I decide to try to fix something I have thought about many times just always had something else more come up. My computer desk, you see my husband has found that the lower level of the desk is the perfect place to itch his feet. And over time that has pulled the edging away from the desk. Why did I decide that late at night was the perfect time to fix it?? Um well I have no clue. So as I am putting the superglue on the edging I am using my thumb to try to press it back in place. Well almost a tube of superglue later I notice my fingers are starting to stick together. Well at that point it becomes clear that most of my left hand is covered including my wedding ring. I was smart enough to take of my ring and keep my fingers separated. Super glue is easy enough to pull off of skin(kinda) But my ring after soaking over night was still covered. I started to worry that I had ruined it. The next morning after trying to clean it with several different things I went it to work with my superglue covered ring ready to cry. At that point my friend Sherry let me know that nail polish remover should get rid of it. Ahh what a fun morning at work, asking everyone that walked by if they had nail polish remover. Before lunch I finally called my hubby and confessed my sin. He got me the remover and when I came home for lunch I was able to get it all off. He was very kind about it and didn’t even laugh at me(I am sure he did plenty before I got home) I would like to tell you all I have learned my lesson and that nothing like this will ever happen again……….but well who am I kidding.

This is from Camarens 5th grade play. Sorry that it took me so long to post Mom.

Our weekends during the winter.

Winter here is COLD. Keep thinking how lucky dad is that he didnt have to work on these power lines. You can not see them because they are incased in ice. But we still manage to have fun together as a family.

Wow

I just have to comment on how blessed I am!!! I have such a wonderful husband, son, family and friends. It blows me away sometimes how lucky I am to have so many wonderful people in my life. I miss so many of my friends since I have moved but they are still in my heart and thoughts(and on my phone bill when every we can catch each other). And I am making some wonderful friends here. I have some fantastic family who keep giving me more family members to love(nieces and nephews) I have God who has helped me. He has given me lessons and hardships to help me grow. And he blessed me with so much in return. So now that I am finished with my little love fest. Updates on things. Well this week I got to spends some time with some of my friends. Some of them got to hear my "Drop it and go to your room story"(which if you want to hear you have to call or email me. ) We went out to the boat to get the snow off of the tarp. Walking in snow past your knees is quite a work out. But strangley cold and wet we had a great time...on the way there we walked out on echo lake. I have never done that before!!!!!Lakes dont freeze over in my hometown. Steve being Steve kept saying he was walking on water....lol. It was a little slushy by the shore with the warm spell we have had. Talk about anxious!!! I have made a really hard decision. We are going to get medication for Cam. We have tried really hard to handle things with out it. But I know that he does have an imbalance, and worry that no matter how hard we are trying it is not enough. Maybe this will help maybe it wont. But I dont want him to keep feeling the way he is. I worry about what will happen in the future if we continue to wait for it to pass because I know its not a stage. Does it make me a bad mom? I worry but I have prayed about it alot and I feel this is the best move for him. Steve is loving his job. It is hard sometimes with his shift being swing/graves and mine being days. But we find time to talk or text any time we can. And I love that we always will have the weekends together. Makes our time together that much better. I love love love my job. Not only my job but the company and all of my coworkers. Some really great people there. And it always surprises me how much NFS does for its employees. It really is a great place to work. But I have always been lucky in having great jobs. And I know how blessed we have been to have jobs that are steady during these hard times. Everyday you hear about lay offs. It is so sad and scary. I hope all of you are blessed with a way to get thru the leans times and be able to enjoy the fat ones.
As always love to you all